Solstice Light For Soul’s Dark Night

Fire and light keep kids engaged

Fire Shines Brighter In The Darkest Nights

On the Winter Solstice, my grandkids and I made a fire in our fire bowl to celebrate the longest night and the return of the light. Instead of focusing on age-old traditions that found darkness fearful, our modest celebration encourages us to make friends with both dark and light. We fold origami birds, then write our wishes and hopes on some, adding things we want to let go of on others. All are fed to the flames one by one to carry the sparks of our prayers through the tender darkness to the stars (or at least to the clouds, on drizzly nights).

Befriending the deeper dark is heavy work right now, when the scariest darkness is embodied in the current regime and others like it around the world. This regime knows exactly how to do the most harm to as many people they deem negligible as possible and they let fall new snippets of evil action day by day, as a kind of mental and emotional drip torture. Natural darkness can feel comforting, wrapping us in calm, soothing quietude and offering a buffer from daily busyness. The unnatural darkness that infects the susceptible human spirit is something else entirely.

Finding The Light

Finding light in THAT darkness is a true challenge, unless we look to all the millions and billions of people who strive to embody kindness and compassion come what may. I keep hearing the voice of my childhood neighbor, a thoughtful Quaker who often comforted me when I was horrified, whether from family chaos, school bullying, or news coverage that exposed deep racism. She explained that in the Quaker tradition, people are encouraged to ‘brighten our corner’ by doing whatever kindnesses might be possible, given a person’s age and relative lack of agency. The world really isn’t short of ranting, furious, frustrated people but it sure would be lovely to have more kindness on display.

In my various positions at the local Senior Center, I hear people talk about their feelings of loneliness and isolation pretty much every day. That saddens but doesn’t surprise me, given the national epidemic of senior loneliness, isolation, and depression. What does surprise me is hearing the same things in almost the same words from people in their teens, and twenties, and on up the line. At the Center, we try to meet as many social needs as possible, sometimes with programs but most effectively through small groups that meet weekly or monthly. Whether the stated goal is to do handwork together, to work on memoirs, to discuss our lived history, or simply compare ideas about a book we’ve all read, the result is nearly always a sense of connection and shared community.

Creating Connection And Community

Some folks are finding community in living language classes, where we discuss news or books or travel or food in Italian or French or Mandarin or whatever. Others find connection in shared movement, from line dancing to tai chi, zumba or yoga, or in peaceful meditation and sound bathing. One of the most poignant groups connects people living with memory loss through comfortable, open conversations that can wander wherever as facilitators ‘join the journey’ rather than correcting a misstatement. Another connects people caregiving for partners, parents, siblings or offspring. In every situation, the ‘magic’ element seems to be feeling safe enough to be truthful. Speaking our truth and being respectfully heard can be healing even if no helpful advice is possible.

This simple pattern is being followed in other settings too, from families and neighborhoods to schools and churches to libraries and even businesses. Make space for gathering people with common interests (even if it’s just in breathing!). Make sure everyone understands that everything said is confidential at every session. Model respectful deep listening. Share with truth. This last is really important as it sets the tone and shows others that they too can speak about whatever they need to without being judged or having their confidences betrayed. And by the way, you don’t have to be an extrovert, or young and energetic, or especially brave or clever to make this simple formula successful. Just find something you care about, and a place people can gather. Invite a few people and invite them to bring friends and neighbors. Once in the space, speak truth and be kind and watch the community come together before your eyes. Onward, right?